| Rebortus | "Red M&M's, blue M&M's, they all end up the same colour in the end." |
| Epitaph | |
| Surit | "Now that I think about it, no it wasn't the safest place to keep your precious balls!" |
| o2gene | |
| Rashelle | "Aahhhh! The squid are attacking from the heavans!" |
| Onil | |
| Savona the 1st | "There is no escape from the mighty squid invasion, it will hurt us all in the end." |
| Robbo | |
| Little Dave | "The one eyed aliens are failing to learn what to do with our giant lollypops and the tanning light they have provided us is powerful enough to roast our skin." |
| G-Dawg | |
| Raphael | "Poor Lester learned the hard way that the kite he made of stone wouldn't fly-- when his arms spontaneously combusted. Meanwhile, the clouds gasped as the teenage mutant shell-less turtles farted in frustration as to how to operate the candied apples." |
| rTorr = 7 mmHG | |
| Grimlock | "The tuba, much like drugs, is always payed in advance. Yow! too-much-coffee field!!" |
| Duffman Pete | |
| Peacefrog Al | "Herbert, who gets beat up regularily on account of his strange egyptian walk and his love for the french horn, tried to fit in by wearing a pot on his head, but needless to say this just made matters much worse." |
| JC Superstar | |
| Bobby Huxtable | "After the euphoria of self castration, Jimmy decided to celebrate in the only way he's ever known: dancing to the 'Bengal's Greatest Hits' with his dick in his hand and a pot on his head, with visions of homosexuals dancing the night away." |
| Micro Heddie | |
| Ol'St. Nick | "Hooray! Removing my own genitalia with this kitchen dining knife really makes me think about when I used to GET IT ON. In fact, it completely takes my mind off the flowerpot I have stuck on my head." |
| Daniela | |
| Kevin Dirtbag Baby | "I was happy, while threatening to cut off my balls in front of the great multi-faced grey god, I didn't see the flower pot coming." |
| Savona the 2nd | |
| Mike Wood | "Zaphod leapt out of his seat. 'Then what's happened to the missles?' he said. 'They would appear,' said Ford doubtfully, "to have turned into a bowl of petunias, an odd-looking fungal growth with five grey discs protruding from it, and a very suicidal-looking happy-face.' Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell past the odd-looking fungal growth and suicidal happy-face was "Oh no, not again." Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now." |
| Plumbum | |
| Zinderfine | "The kitty litter and sly guy payloads always make it but the 'chute never opens for the poor orchids, forever doomed to extinction." |
| Cthulu | |
| Jochen Midnight | "As my health fell, I wasn't sure quite what I could do with so much chicken. Just another step in the process of life..." |
| Jenn | |
| thextreme | "Healthcare and stick figures are no match for giant power pigeons!" |
Co-ordinator Email:: corn@darkillustrated.org