Eat Poop You Cat, Game 3

Raph "You'll do as I say. I *am* the highest ranking penguin, after all."
Alan "It was my worst acid trip ever: I was telling a telescope that I was clearly #1, and the telescope was disagreeing. The worst part of it all was that the telescope turned me into a penguin."
Shawn "Pingu's experimentation with LSD proved only semi-successful in his attempts to fly."
Dave S
Petey "Plunging inevitably to his doom, the portly penguin silently cursed his inability to grasp the crux of Icarus' tale. Somewhere far away, the now-withered Greek gods laughed hoarsely."
Alicia "The sun was shining fiercely as the gods exerted their terrible power on the flightless bird."
Geoff "When a lot of shit is raining down... just jump in the water you stupid Penguin!"
Rich "The best time to go for a dip is when it's raining giant meatballs from the sky."
Karl "Stan, the weatherman, was gleefull to see the meteor shower raining down on Quebec - promising to seperate from Canada once and for all and join Mexico in the middle of the Atlantic."
Onil "Chef's balls nail the french over the spanish."
Rowan "It was a beautiful day regardless, but the sight of the Pope waving his genitalia above the face of the protesting mustachio'd Frenchman made the sombrero-wearing Mexican exclaim an enthusiastic "Si!", vouching that, at least for today, all was right with the universe."
Surit "the pope cums on a US flag burning frenchman as a mexican thinks of love and balance."
Rob "the pope's gism splatters onto the head of a young french boy as he happily burns the american flag while a young mexican boy strums his guitar to thoughts of love and justice."
Warpus "Die, American Scum!"