"east coast noders get more than west coast noders"
"My brother is crying because you punched him in the stick-nuts and killed his dog."
"That purple-shirted bird-flipping bastard ran over my dog, and now I weep. Oh, how I long for the days in which we used to dance."
"So, on the way to the rave, we ran over the fake angel dog. Michael flipped, because he thought it was real, but then he was all 'fuck you, fake angel dog.' Meanwhile, I sat on the supplies and smeared my face around."
"Back inside, Little Kevy used his powers of telekinesis to kill his archnemesis Rover, much to the dismay of Dad and Little Sis, who'd been about to take him to the vet."